hi Tony hope you are in good spirits,Paolo's 3rd album and all pretty different ,some chanter. anyhooo i do a bit of support work with someone who gets a bit down now and again and she finds this helps : she does the duck bit i do the barman....... Duck goes into a bar and say’s to barman Got any bread ? Barman says no we don’t have any bread Next day duck comes in again Got any bread ? Barman says no we don’t have any bread This happens every day for a week Duck comes into bar on 8th day Got any bread ? Barman say’s right thatsF####NG it ya wee F###ER if you ask that again I will nail your beak To the bar!!!!!!! Next day duck comes in and ask’s the barman You got any nails? Barman say’s no I don’t have any nails.. Duck say’s got any bread then? i know it's an old one but it put's the smile back on her face
Paolo's got a very strange voice but he writes some uplifting upbeat songs and he's a good Tim.
Now, a computer programming joke:-
A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
John was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, (100 leg bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box home, found a good location for the box and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box; 'Would you like to go to Tony's place with me and have a beer?'
Silence.... there was no answer from his new Pet.
This bothered him a bit, waited a few minutes and then asked him again, 'How about going to the bar and having a beer with me?'
Again, there was no answer, nothing but silence came from his new friend and pet.
So, he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time. This time, putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, 'Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Tony's place and have a beer with me?
......
A little voice came out of the box...
"I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my ****ing shoes."
Tony, a wee song and a wee joke...hope you enjoy them...weebobbycollins.
hi Tony
ReplyDeletehope you are in good spirits,Paolo's 3rd album and all pretty different ,some chanter.
anyhooo i do a bit of support work with someone who gets a bit down now and again
and she finds this helps : she does the duck bit i do the barman.......
Duck goes into a bar and say’s to barman
Got any bread ?
Barman says no we don’t have any bread
Next day duck comes in again
Got any bread ?
Barman says no we don’t have any bread
This happens every day for a week
Duck comes into bar on 8th day
Got any bread ?
Barman say’s right thatsF####NG it ya wee
F###ER if you ask that again I will nail your beak
To the bar!!!!!!!
Next day duck comes in and ask’s the barman
You got any nails?
Barman say’s no I don’t have any nails..
Duck say’s got any bread then?
i know it's an old one but it put's the smile back on her face
H.H
bognorbhoy
good one!
DeletePaolo's got a very strange voice but he writes some uplifting upbeat songs and he's a good Tim.
ReplyDeleteNow, a computer programming joke:-
A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQtat8hn-18
ReplyDeleteJohn was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a
pet.
He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an
unusual pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, (100 leg bug),
which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box home, found a good location for the box and decided he
would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box; 'Would you like to
go to Tony's place with me and have a beer?'
Silence.... there was no answer from his new Pet.
This bothered him a bit, waited a few minutes and then
asked him again, 'How about going to the bar and having a
beer with me?'
Again, there was no answer, nothing but silence came from
his new friend and pet.
So, he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the
situation. He decided to ask him one more time. This time,
putting his face up against the centipede's house and
shouting, 'Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Tony's
place and have a beer with me?
......
A little voice came out of the box...
"I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my ****ing shoes."
Tony, a wee song and a wee joke...hope you enjoy them...weebobbycollins.